Closing the Portal

This week’s writing is a prayer for the Sacred Masculine and the Divine Feminine.

We have received our Rainbow Corn kernels this week that we planted with our village last summer. The original corn seeds were from Susana Lein of Salamander Springs Farm who had brought these centuries old Appalachian heirloom seeds into our greater community.

I was very pregnant at the time of planting. And when we harvested this corn, Aurora had just come home to us from the hospital. The harvest was her first outing where she laid asleep in a blanket upon the grass in front of the corn which a month prior was buzzing with Hummingbirds awaiting her arrival.

I am reminded of shelling the corn by hand with Aurora wrapped upon my chest, alongside fellow planters, during dusk, sitting by a table filled of foods created from the fall harvests including Paw Paw Mousse, Butternut Squash Corn Bread, and Autumn Olive cookies. This corn was gathered up and held at someone’s house during the last few months.

Our families portion of the corn kernels arrived to our doorstep on 2/22/2022, a moment right before 2:22 when my partner Phil and I entered into a ritual to close my womb, and reclaim our wholeness from all we experienced in the past year, spiraling back into right relationship with ourselves and each other. Looking at this ritual now, I realize that it was a reconnection with the Sacred Masculine and the Divine Feminine.

This sacred corn, a symbol of life—the Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine coming together to feed life in creative healthy expression. No longer shattered and split in victim and perpetrator patterns, but together, exuding a safety to freely express and to be nourished and nurtured in that expression.

I am very proud to have created Aurora’s body within my womb. To channel her spirit into this world. My heart is full of love for encountering the other side from which we come and to which we return. An energy of pure love. But in order to do this, we needed to face the portal.

The time within the portal was messy, enlightening, confusing, disorienting, magical, and drenched with tears. Phil and I felt fractured in all directions. After the birth, Phil and I each became split open, and the sacred divinity that united us seemed to disappear. The energy of my womb was encircling me 20 feet in every direction. I was often angry. Wandering through these fractured pieces, we slowly picked them up, and started creating a wholeness that has never existed prior to the opening of this portal.

What felt so challenging during the portal days now feels in a state of health. The opening: closed; the wound: healed; the dream: awakened. Our struggle has brought us strength.

Ritual has been a large part of this closing. Entering into relationship with our internal power that is connected to the Earth and the Sky and the ancestors. Without ritual, how would we become whole? How would the true light of our beings shine through if, for example, we cut off the feminine—the spiritual calling from the otherworld?

I imagine all of us have places within our life that are asking for attention. They are in pain, crying out for us to grow from a split within. Places where the light is trying to come through. Places where the masculine and feminine are ready to merge together. To answer their calls, we enter into these sacred divine spaces of ritual. It is here where we are able to bring through us a greater power than we could have had before the split. But we must be brave enough to face the portal.

This week, receiving this corn signifies six months of Aurora being Earthside. Now more than ever I feel a completion in this journey of creation. For me and this motherhood journey I feel the sacred masculine and divine feminine have fully merged together. We have birthed a new ear of corn into the world. Not only have we birthed this corn being, we have also harvested the corn so it does not rot. We have cut down the corn stalks, laying them to rest to nourish the Earth below. We have closed the portal. Aurora is now in the world with her own set of seeds that may be planted to offer all kinds of sacred divine creations into this world that is hungry for this union of connection and wholeness.

A couple years ago, we received Cherokee White Eagle Corn seed from another sacred woman in the community. The story of this corn was shared to me as being original corn planted by the Cherokee. When they were forced to walk the trail of tears, these seeds traveled with these humans and was planted in the dry lands of the southwest by Hopi lands. This seed has now returned to this area being resilient to both drought and floods.

Once I received these seeds I would share them with the crows. One of these crows must have dropped a seed right beside our backdoor, and it was there where a special corn plant who we named Cornelius grew. We connected with this dear one daily and eventually was asked to make this flower essence. In cutting the top flowers for the essence, one fell to the Earth, and I couldn’t find it. Cornelius and I were so connected I could feel this corn being guide me to where the flower had fallen. It was a great experience to show me how to trust and connect ever so deeply with the other than human world.

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